Can you sleep when I grind my teeth?

chash @ 2008-07-03T10:21:00

2008-07-03T17:22:20Z

Am alive! And in gaisce's base. Using her laptop and not drawing on her face. Despite my threats.

chash @ 2008-07-01T10:09:00

2008-07-01T14:13:06Z

Right! As I've mentioned, I'm going to AX (Anime Expo) in LA to be a dork and annoy gaisce until she decides she should let me get killed in traffic. Clearly, it's going to be a pretty magical experience. Anyway, I'm leaving tomorrow at dark-thirty and getting back on...Monday? Maybe? I dunno, gmail isn't loading so I can't check my flight information. Whatever.

Anyway, I will see some of you there, and will probably fail to contact any of the rest of you in any way, except maybe through drunken text messages, because uncreativity wants me to get drunk with her. Apparently I have some kind of reputation.

otp.

2008-06-27T18:35:15Z

well.

2008-06-27T02:32:15Z

Bevin to me
http://community.livejournal.com/b0st0n/6026723.html
HA!

Me to Bevin
I'm not sure what your exact message here is.

Bevin to me
well, suck it

Bevin to me
also, I was suggesting you were a slutty drunk chick who's all judgey and shit

Me to Bevin
Thanks, Bev.

chash @ 2008-06-26T14:10:00

2008-06-26T18:19:23Z

The Big Read thinks the average adult has only read six of the top 100 books they've printed below.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicise those you read part of but never finished.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte (on tape)
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

chash @ 2008-06-25T20:37:00

2008-06-26T01:01:15Z

I feel sort of like I should actually talk about Supernatural. I know, shocking, right? Me? On a blog? Talking? Perish the thought!

My dad e-mailed me the other day to tell me he and my mom were enjoying Weeds, and tolchocky pimped BSG, and then it occurred to me that Supernatural is not the kind of show I'd necessarily recommend.

I'm not saying I don't like Supernatural; I am very fond of Supernatural. But it's sort of complicated for me.

First off, Sam and Dean being super duper hot is a factor. I'm not saying it's everything, and I started the show thinking neither of them was particularly attractive. Even most of the way through season one, I didn't think either of them was that hot, as I mentioned in a post here the other day. Now I am pretty much on the holy-fucking-shit-Jared-Padalecki train, and Dean is hot too, and that does make a difference in the show. Because a slow episode can really be saved by Sam wearing a tight t-shirt. So I feel sort of like "Man, if you didn't think these guys were seriously attractive, would you actually enjoy watching this?"

The first season, ehhh. I didn't so much. By the second season I was pretty much thinking they were hot, and the show also got more interesting. More overarching plot, for one thing, and more seriously fucked up brother dynamic of co-dependence, which is one of the show's big selling points. I don't mean that in an uhuhuhu Wincest way. Just that Sam and Dean and their incredibly stupid martyrtastic retardation is very compelling and interesting and, as inarticulate put it, emotional porn. And it makes the second and third seasons way more interesting for me.

It also makes them painful as fuck at times.

Supernatural is weird for me because sometimes, it's really funny. Sometimes it missteps and is sort of funny, but sometimes they nail an episode and it's hilarious (see: Bad Day at Black Rock). And then I'm like "Man, Supernatural is funny!"

And then sometimes Dean and Sam are way too emotionally invested in each other and there is a zombie virus and I can't even handle it due to 1. emotional overload and 2. genuine fear of zombie hoards. And I'm sort of like...I don't even know. I don't really know what to pimp Supernatural as--occasionally funny show about angst-ridden co-dependent demon-hunting brothers with a hell of a body count and more martyr complexes than you can shake a stick at?

Okay, so that's pretty accurate.

I dunno, I guess the people who I would pimp Supernatural to already watch it for the most part. But it's not like Friday Night Lights, which I think everyone should watch. It's more like High School Musical, in that I am pretty fond of it, but I know it's not for everybody, and I'm glad it's not, because then I would worry about the world.

I do really like it, although it's often in a patronizing way. Like, when it's funny, I'm sort of proud of it. When it's really angsty, I'm just kind of shaky and wah and want to hug Sam and Dean. Which means it's doing its job! But it's kind of weirdly bipolar for me; I wish it would tone down the angst a little just because sometimes I get fucking whiplash (see: Mystery Spot). The best balance they achieved on this front for me is "A Very Supernatural Christmas," which I think is my favorite episode. It has some good humor, some truly touching moments, and it makes me cry. Well played, Supernatural, well played.

Also, phrenk did picspam for me, and I would like to share one image here. Because fucking hell, Jared Padalecki. Yes.

chash @ 2008-06-25T13:12:00

2008-06-25T17:13:14Z

Title: What I Planned
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: PG
Characters: Sam, Dean, kids
Summary: Name three children that you even know.
Spoilers: All through season three.

[21:32] chash ...man, this Hogwarts fic makes me want Dean to have kids, so he can be a fucked up but AWESOME dad, instead of a fucked up but crappy dad like fucking John
[21:32] inarticulate ...yes. omg yes ;;
[21:34] chash And Sam just being like what the hell
[21:34] chash all the time
[21:35] inarticulate he would be the long-suffering uncle
[21:35] inarticulate it'd be great
[21:36] chash I assume Dean wouldn't actually be married or settled down because he's too fucked up. They'd probably just find kids on the job who got orphaned and one would strike Dean's fancy and he'd be all CAN I KEEP HIM SAMMY CAN I I'LL FEED HIM EVERY DAY
[21:37] inarticulate ...y-yes
[21:37] inarticulate I can see that happening
[21:37] inarticulate But Sam would still be the long-suffering uncle because HE IS NOT ANYONE'S MOM
[21:37] chash Dean would totally call him the mom ALL THE TIME
[21:37] inarticulate he would 8( oh dean
[21:38] chash dean doesn't want his babies to grow up without a mommy :(
[21:38] inarticulate y-yes
[21:39] inarticulate ...or for Sam's life to be, god forbid, deprived of horrible teasing
[21:40] chash ...yeah that would be terrible
[21:41] inarticulate It just wouldn't be very fair to poor Sammy :(

*

Sam doesn't really see it coming.

He knows Dean sort of likes kids (as more than a quick pick-up line even), and ever since the Ben thing and the dream thing, he's known that Dean is sort of thinking about his legacy and whatever. Sam had hoped that now that he wasn't about to die (at least, no more than usual), Dean would be done with kids and go back to his whole thing for random, meaningless sex.

So he isn't really prepared when they find Charlie.

Sam later decides Dean's only criterion for his kids is that they be badasses, and that Dean also believes that being a badass can be taught to anyone under the age of five who has puppy-dog eyes. Which honestly seems pretty counter-intuitive to Sam, but then he knows he kind of has puppy-dog eyes, and he'd like to think he can be a badass.

After all, he is the Antichrist. That counts for something.

Charlie's parents get killed by a very angry poltergeist, and when Dean drops his shotgun, the kid picks it up and shoots the thing himself.

Of course, he's four and the kickback dislocates his shoulder, but Dean likes him right off the bat.

When Charlie reveals that he doesn't have any living family he knows about, Dean gets the idea. They have a quick, heated argument in which Dean proves he can also use puppy-dog eyes when the need arises.

"Dean!" says Sam, trying to be the responsible one. "What the hell are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking there's a kid here who needs people, a kid who's seen shit that kids shouldn't see, and who isn't just gonna forget about it. They put him in foster care, they're gonna think he's nuts."

"And being with us is so much of an improvement."

"Look, I know we're not gonna be the ideal parents or anything, but come on, Sam! He's alone and he's scared and he likes us. And I think we learned enough from dad about how not to raise kids while being a hunter."

They both look over at Charlie, who looks surprisingly chipper in his little cast.

"He hasn't got anyone else, Sammy," Dean says, quiet and concerned, and Sam can't say no.

*

Sam insists that they at least have a house if they're going to have a kid, because he's going to need to go to school and have a real home.

"But I don't wanna go to school," says Charlie.

"Listen to your mother, Charlie," says Dean.

Sam moves his mouth a few times, but no words come out for what seems like an eternity. Finally, he manages "Uncle. I'm his uncle."

"Sure you are, honey," says Dean.

*

It's an adjustment, mostly because Sam makes Dean adjust. One-man jobs during the school-year, so that he has at least one parent at home all the time.

Sam says "guardian" or "caregiver" most of the time, but Dean never fails to classify Sam as Charlie's mother. It makes dating awkward, at best.

Aside from that, Sam likes being a legal guardian. He knows he's the less-favored parent, but that's because he's the one who makes Charlie eat his vegetables and go to school and enforces a strict no-guns-til-you're-fifteen rule.

Dean thrives on it even more than Sam, and that makes it worth it, even if Sam wouldn't admit it on pain of death. Dean gives piggyback rides and brings back presents from hunts, and he even does real part-time work because Sam insists that credit-card scams are no way to raise a child, and Dean can't actually argue with that.

Sam gets that respectable job he always meant to, at the elementary school, because then he's free for bigger hunts in the summer. For those, they take Charlie, and he sleeps in the back of the Impala while Sam drives and Dean looks over his shoulder all the time, as if he can never get enough of his son.

*

Charlie's six and Sam is teaching fourth grade when Dean comes home from a hunt with Maryann.

"She's just a baby!" Sam and Dean say at the same time.

"Exactly!" says Dean. "Come on, Sammy!"

"Don't 'come on, Sammy!' me," Sam shouts. The baby starts to cry, and Dean goes over to rock her. "Dean, she has a whole future ahead of her."

"No, she doesn't," says Dean, trying to look angry and self-righteous, which is difficult when holding a baby who he's dressed in a "Maine is for lovers" t-shirt. "I checked, Sam! You think I didn't look for anyone else? Werewolf at a fucking family reunion."

Sam swallows. "You know you couldn't hunt til she was a lot older. We can't just leave a baby home alone."

"I know."

"And you still want to do this."

"Yeah, I do," says Dean. He's feeding her. From a bottle.

"You know, you could get married and have kids the normal way."

"Where's the fun in that?" Dean asks with a grin. "Besides, I wouldn't want you to get jealous of the new mommy."

Sam counts to ten in his head before he responds. "I'm their uncle, Dean. Their uncle. Because I am their father's brother."

Dean puts the baby down in the seat he brought in from the car. "Whatever you say. Hey, we're gonna need a crib."

*

Sam stops dating entirely around Maryann's third birthday, because it's actually easier to pretend they're gay than it is to explain that they're two brothers who think the real family bloodline should end with them and instead adopt kids whose families were killed by demons. For some reason, women don't really seem to think of that as a turn-on.

"Why are you a boy?" Maryann asks the morning after what turns out to be Sam's last date.

Sam spits his coffee out and Dean laughs like a fucking jackass.

"What, honey?" he asks.

"The other kids at preschool have mommies who are girls. And who aren't related to their daddies."

"I dunno about that Berman kid, I bet his parents are cousins," Dean mutters, and Sam shoves him.

"I'm your uncle, Mary," says Sam. He likes calling her Mary because he can pretend he and Dean named her after their mother. He doesn't tell Dean this, because Dean already thinks he's a girl. Clearly.

"Whatever you say, mommy," say Charlie and Maryann in unison.

They are so very clearly Dean's kids.

*

It happens once every few years, sometimes Sam is there and sometimes he isn't, but they just pick up more kids. Dean cracks suggestions about teaching them all to sing so they can get their own TV show, because who can resist a singing, dancing family of hunters, but Sam reminds him that they're both tone deaf and Dean gets distracted planning a family trip to the zoo.

In strange places, they get mistaken for a family, and it bothers Sam sometimes because this wasn't what he dreamed of. While Charlie, now fifteen and learning to fire baby's first Glock, takes the other kids to see the sea otters, Sam grabs Dean.

"Doesn't it bother you?"

"The way the monkeys jerk off in front of the kids? A little, but they have to learn sometime."

"No, not . . . Dean!"

"What?" he asks, and his tone makes it clear he wants to know what's actually on Sam's mind.

"The way people always think we're a family," Sam says.

Dean stares at him for a long moment. "We are a family," he says slowly, like Sam's one of the kids.

"Yeah," Sam says, because of course they are. "But."

He can't actually think of a way to finish that sentence. Dean claps him on the shoulder. "Come on, Sammy. We've got work to do."

Buying ice cream for a gaggle of orphans might not have been in the original job description, but Sam finds that he doesn't mind the addition.

chash @ 2008-06-24T01:19:00

2008-06-24T05:20:06Z

Title: It's All About Me
Author: Chash
Fandom: Supernatural/Buffy
Pairing: Sam/Buffy
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sam finds something like a kindred spirit, and Dean is going to kill him.
Notes: During Supernatural season three and post Buffy season seven (i-ignoring season eight). Spoilers for both (SPN just to 308, because. That's as far as I've seen? :D?). And I really should have done more with the title and the whining, but fuck it, I'm tired. Don't judge.

Dean is going to kill him.

Well, not kill, actually. Probably he's just going to complain for weeks, like somehow this is Sam's fault, like he decided to get sent into an alternate dimension alone.

Come to think of it, death might be an improvement.

Sam looks over at Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

He doesn't know much about Buffy; Dean's the one who watches bad sci-fi, Sam's the one who pulls the pillow over his head and tries to sleep through Dean being a loud, annoying dick.

"What'd you say your name was?" she asks.

Sam looks down at the stake in Buffy's hand and the pile of ashes that used to be a guy he punched. He looks back up at Buffy's face. She's tiny. "Sam Winchester."

"Okay, Sam Winchester, question two: what are you doing here?"

"This is going to sound crazy," says Sam.

Buffy raises an eyebrow. "Try me."

Sam runs his hand through his hair. Dean is never going to shut up about this.

"Think he checks out, Giles?"

Sam wonders what it would be like to have a British librarian to ask about all your problems, instead of your dad's old notebook. Dean would probably like it more. He'd love if Bobby had an accent.

"Of course alternate universes do exist, and there are demons with the ability to manipulate those universes and make them, for lack of a better term, cross over."

"So this is what, The Flintstones Meet the Jetsons, Slayer edition?" asks Buffy.

"Wow," says Sam, "no wonder my brother loves you."

Sam doesn't really know much about Buffy Summers. He knows the basic plot of the show, but anyone who knows the title knows the plot of the show. He couldn't name any of her friends, and he could really only name her because he had this thing for Sarah Michelle Gellar, which, whatever, who didn't. But he feels kind of drawn to Buffy, because she's a hunter (Slayer) and she has a sister she really cares about who has some really fucked up deal with hell.

She kind of reminds him of Dean, actually, but female and hot and not related to him.

Sam thinks, not for the first time, that he's kind of fucked up.

"Can you tell me more about the Slayer?" asks Sam. "We don't really have one of those back home."

"The Slayer is the Chosen One," says Giles, and Sam rubs his neck. They kind of do have one of those back home. A little. "She alone fights against the darkness--the vampires and demons. When one Slayer dies, another is called."

"But that only works the first time," says Buffy absently.

Sam looks over at her. "The first time of what?"

"The first time you die," says Buffy.

"How many times have you died?"

"Twice."

Sam smiles a little. "I've just got one."

"Well," says Buffy, smiling back, "you better catch up, kid."

"I'm twenty-four," says Sam.

Buffy looks at him with new respect.

Sam realizes that if he sleeps with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, he has bragging rights forever.

"You know," Sam says, "I'm kind of a Chosen One too."

All his pickup lines sound so much better without Dean there making faces.

"Yeah, you're a hunter."

"No," says Sam. "I'm more of a," he struggles to explain in a way that doesn't make him depressed or scary, "soldier. For hell."

Buffy looks at him. "No offense, but you're basically the worst hell soldier I've ever seen. And I've seen some pretty crappy ones."

Sam finds himself laughing. "Thanks, I think."

"Vampire," says Buffy, sobering instantly. "You want to try this one out?"

"Thanks. All I have to do is stake it?"

"What else would you have to do?"

"Cut off its head with razor wire?" Sam suggests.

Buffy just looks at him.

"Just checking," Sam mutters.

It turns out Buffy the Vampire Slayer is kind of fucked up.

Not that this should be a surprise, but Sam had never really thought of himself as the kind of guy who got pinned to a wall by a tiny girl and then started trading sob stories while making out.

"My mom and girlfriend are dead because of me," he says while she sucks his neck.

"I blamed my artificially created little sister for my mom getting cancer," Buffy replies.

"My brother sold his soul to bring me back from the dead."

"I lost my virginity to a vampire who turned evil and killed my mentor's girlfriend and tried to destroy the world."

"Aren't vampires already evil?" Sam asks, pausing in confusion.

"He had a soul before. But the whole sex thing made him so happy he lost it. Then my friend got it back, but it was too late, and I had to kill him."

Sam considers this. "The sex was that good?" he asks, tugging at her shirt.

Dean is going to be so jealous.

chash @ 2008-06-23T02:16:00

2008-06-23T06:16:41Z

RIP George Carlin.

chash @ 2008-06-23T01:12:00

2008-06-23T05:18:23Z

Last night, I had dinner with Sam and Tomio, and after several special text messages (including "which direction do we turn for the sketchy bar"), we all returned to the apartment, where Bevin had spent some time coming up with a game she called "Bevgammon." It was basically Kings, except she came up with new things to do for each card, and points were somehow involved. Bevin appointed the points pretty liberally (she gave points for good things, but also was allowed to take away points for "being a douche"), and Tomio ended up winning from an early lead due to his figuring out how to play Bevgammon with just one deck of cards.

From there, Tomio and Sam headed home while the rest of us turned right and headed for bars which turned out to be not sketchy. Although one guy came up and started asking Chaos and Val questions about themselves. They didn't reply, so he said (and I quote), "Am I the Antichrist?"

How do you respond to that?

We then came home, hung out and chilled, and Val and I finally went to sleep at like five a.m.

Today, we watched Supernatural.

That was honestly it. Val and I rock. I did find a few job leads to apply for (at some point last night I suddenly exclaimed "I should look for jobs at the aquarium!!" and woke up to find I had some tabs open with, well, jobs at the aquarium), and I need to write cover letters tomorrow.

But today, today was all about how Jared Padalecki is hot, freakish giant. Who is hot. (Jensen Ackles, also hot. But not a freakish giant.)

chash @ 2008-06-21T13:03:00

2008-06-21T17:09:09Z

So, let's see.

We've been in the new apartment for a week tomorrow. It hasn't been the most exciting week; it's pretty hard to look for jobs without internet, so the first few days I was just slacking (see: long entry about fucking Twilight), and then Bevin and Mac showed up to visit. Since then, we've been slacking as a group--currently both of them are reading Runaways and I'm reading Supernatural RPS (you can judge me, it's pretty fair). Last night we half-assedly tried to go out and see the town, but ended up buying some beer and Malibu and watching The Cutting Edge. That's right. During the day I taught them about furries and we cruised ff.net for badfic. So, clearly, we all pretty much suck as human beings.

I've applied for a few jobs, signed up for Monster.com, and generally tried to keep my worthlessness as minimal as possible.

Okay, that's not true. But I went shopping yesterday. And. Could suck more.

Val's coming to visit later today, and I'm going to dinner with Sam and Tomio tonight. So that's sort of like having a life.

No, it's really not. But the apartment is nice, the neighborhood is nice, and the weather's been good. So...it's good, I think.

chash @ 2008-06-18T11:17:00

2008-06-18T15:22:38Z

NET.

Um um. Moved in to new apartment! Wires everywhere! Ahaha I need to. Work on this net thing. Y-yeah. BUT NET. In lieu of real content, have a post I wrote up yesterday. WARNING: This is almost entirely me rambling about how much the sequels to Twilight hurt me in my kokoro.

I. I'm so sorry.

---

In my desire to find something to do while I have 1) no net and 2) no job, I've been making some poor decisions.

Two poor decisions.

Here's the thing: I've heard awesome things about Supernatural, but I'm a wuss. And I knew Supernatural was going to scare me. And it does! Especially when I watch it, you know, alone in my big weird new apartment. But I started it at home and it's kind of addictive, so I watched it. In the bright daylight, while playing solitaire or Harvest Moon or working on my FF9 fanfic, so that I wasn't watching it all the way. I only had the first and last six or so episodes of the season, so I got a kind of weird overview.

I like it, mostly. I like Dean and Sam, as I expected I would, although I still can't really get through to seeing them as hot. Sam is cute, definitely; Dean isn't really attractive to me physically at all. All the attraction is his personality shining through. The stories themselves freak me out more than draw me in, for the most part. None of the secondary characters have been particularly interesting for me, so they're sort of filler between Dean and Sam interacting. Thus far, I don't have any interest in finding Wincest either; their vibe is fun, but I'm not that interested in seeing it that way. The father is also a good addition to the fucked up family dynamic, and I definitely will pick up the second season when I can, but I don't know how much I could really care about it. It's addictive, but not. Argh. I don't know.

Bella gets more and more annoying for me. The zombie thing? Agh. At least she understands that she's sucking as a person, but she doesn't have a lot to do about it, so I just want to throttle her all the time. Which I think is fair. I do like Jacob a lot; he's a type I'm weak to, and I want him to find someone who, you know, doesn't suck. So far (with about 50 pages to go), I have spent New Moon wanting to strangle every character except for Alice and, for the most part, Jacob. Which I guess means they should get married and bridge the gulf between vampires and werewolves and have snarky, happy babies who aren't idiots.

Come on, Eclipse, validate my OTP!

I do appreciate that New Moon tries to have more of a plot than Twilight did. The problem with Bella as a narrator is that she basically runs away from any plot that doesn't involve Edward. She's sort of like "Oh? Are exciting things happening over there? I care about them, but I've got to emo about Edward rather than give them the full attention they deserve!" This makes her flawed, but not in a way that I enjoy.

Almost necessarily (necessary because I was also rereading The Queen of Attolia the other day), I find myself drawing comparisons between the Twilight trilogy and the Eugenides books. In The Thief, where Gen is narrator, he's unreliable in the extreme; he doesn't reveal what he's about to the audience for ages. In The Queen of Attolia, which changes to third-person, Gen is oblivious and zombie-like, much like Bella in New Moon. I am much more sympathetic to Gen for a number of reasons, including but not limited to:

1. Gen got his hand chopped off.
2. By the woman he loved!
3. Who is kind of terrifying, and not because he smells delicious and she wants to eat him. Because she is badass.
4. And he's the Queen's Thief, which means that without his hand, life as he knew it is essentially over until he figures himself out.
5. Everyone else is annoyed with Gen and gives him a hard time.
6. He doesn't find some poor girl who's totally in love with him and cling to her like a life raft while flagellating himself for being so selfish.
7. I don't hate Gen as a person.

The book (and Gen himself) also don't make a big deal of numbers two and three at all. That isn't to say that they're not a big deal; they're a huge deal. But Gen doesn't spend pages upon pages putting himself into danger so that he can hear the Queen of Attolia's voice echoing in his brain. Basically, the plot takes the forefront, not Gen's romantic emo. In fact, the first we hear of Gen's romantic emo is when he proposes marriage to the Attolia after kidnapping her, and we don't even realize (or we might not; I admit, I was spoiled going in because I had already read the Amazon summary for The King of Attolia, so I was on the lookout) that he genuinely loves her until, again, he tells her that.

This has gotten off the subject of Twilight. But reading The King of Attolia, I remember salivating for every little bit of Gen and Attolia (or even just Gen), and that making it an awesome read. I think if the entire book had been Gen and Attolia being sappy at each other, I would have quickly gotten annoyed, just as if the entire second book had been Gen angsting about how his one true love had cut off his hand. Of course, I like the characters better. Maybe if Alice was the protagonist, I'd be less annoyed with Twilight and its kin. Because Alice would be talking about smacking bitches all the time.

Which I approve of.

Anyway, I just. I get annoyed at the extent to which Bella's feelings for Edward consume her; I want her to be more rational about it. I want her, basically, to suck it up. And then I get annoyed with myself because I feel mean, and she's a fictional character and she shouldn't be making me feel guilty about not being sympathetic enough to her zomg teen angst.

Agh reunion scene agh Bella is an idiot.

But Edward is an idiot too, which makes it even harder. I can sort of get fondly attached to smart people who are in love with idiots; that's a relationship dynamic I dig. It happens in manga a lot. But they're both the worst kind of idiots for me, the kind who aren't happy about it and who emo all the time.

Let's have another comparison. I don't particularly like Angel. Not because he's annoying, but because he just kind of bores me. I do like Buffy, but she's really stupid a lot of the time. Their relationship still, in the end, is the part of Buffy that compels me the most. I only really like the first three seasons, and those first three seasons are full of Buffy and Angel together. The most memorable scenes for me are often of them. Angel does the same thing Edward does in New Moon: he leaves Buffy for her own good. Of course, he doesn't lie about it. And Buffy has issues with it. But Buffy, for all her idiocy, has a job to get done. She does the zombie thing, like Bella, but that's after she kills him. She runs away from her responsibilities and starts over, and then she realizes that she's the Slayer, goes home, and sucks it up. I'm not saying she's fine, but she sucks way less than Bella about it.

I realize I'm being harsh on Bella. And then I feel bad. She's a eighteen-year-old girl. But I just . . . really hate her. As a character.

"So why are you reading this?" you may ask.

1. No job. 2. No internet. 3. Masochism.

GOD I WANT TO JUST HIT THEM BOTH IN THE FACE

I know Bella's self-esteem sucks. But. GOD. AGH. I WANT TO HIT HER SO HARD.

The thing is. I like sappy stuff. I love romantic comedies! I read bad romance novels! And none of them piss me off like New Moon does. New Moon angers me much more than Twilight did. Because the entire plot is basically Bella and Edward--Edward especially--being stupid. If one of them wasn't sucking, it would help. As it is, only Alice and (mostly) Jacob don't suck, and that's just not enough.

. . . okay, the vampires just fist-bumped. I admit, I'm fickle, but that makes me like everything better. I mean, I still hate them all, but. That's hilarious.

Anyway. The hatred remains.

I've just realized how Bella angers me so much. She doesn't learn. She keeps thinking of Edward first and then realizing that other people will be upset that she's putting herself in danger. The first few times, this was reasonable. But Bella is so stubbornly against her own worth that she believes no one else will ever be affected by her moods, actions, and stuff. I don't mind when characters realize they're affecting others and keep doing it; that's understandable, and hard to avoid. But Bella is so dead-set against being important enough to people that her moods affect them at all, and when she realizes it, she's really guilty every time, but she never learns. Same with her and Edward. The "I am being stand-offish but still love you" situation is posed about a billion times, and every time Bella freaks out and decides Edward hates her and is never coming home.

Also, I am annoyed that I sort of get Bella's "I'd become a vampire for you, but MARRIAGE??" thing. I want to be annoyed with her about it, but I kind of relate. I don't know. I hate her when I don't understand her, and even more when I do. I just want her to get her Edward-blinders off, suck it up, take some responsibility, and get smarter.

Is that really so much to ask?

Failing that, I would also punch every person in this book in the face.

Except Alice. Alice can stay. But Jacob, the epilogue? I would smack you.

Oh fuck me Eclipse is way longer, isn't it. It looks way longer.

I need a job.

Okay, here's what I'm talking about: "Jacob's pain cut me deeper than my own." I'm not saying Bella isn't in a crappy situation with her boyfriend and best friend being mortal enemies. What I'm saying is that she's so concerned for other people to the point of ignoring her own well-being, but she never does anything about it, or at least nothing constructive. Her basic responses to problems seem to be either "This would be better if I was dead" or "This would be better if I was a vampire." When neither of these is true, she just gets guilty and woe-is-me and fails.

And when they are true, she does the same thing!

Also, don't call your boyfriend your "destiny." It makes you sound like a tool. Not hokey. Like a tool.

. . . Oh Lucas Grabeel cover of "Go the Distance," you calm my rage. Luckily, Eclipse is still there to bring it back!

Also, Bella, I repent. If you're going to call a guy "your destiny," you should marry him. Seriously. Unless you just don't believe in marriage, which I don't think is it. So stfu.

"The characters are ghastly people who ruin each others' lives." DID YOU JUST LEARN ABOUT IRONY, ECLIPSE? IS THAT IT???

"I still think it would be a better story if either of them had one redeeming quality."
"I think that may be the point," I disagreed. "Their love is their only redeeming quality."

Now you are just taunting me.

I do not appreciate that, Eclipse.

Also, Edward's "I love you so much more than you can ever comprehend" bothers me. They're both so convinced that they're more invested in the relationship that they're mad insecure and stupid about everything. It's like a twisted, stupid version of the lovey-dovey "no I love YOU more" that annoying couples do in movies to signal that they are nauseating together. Only dark and terrible and making them both make terrible choices.

. . . Bella, getting married to a guy just out of high school is not nearly as big a life choice as TURNING INTO A VAMPIRE. Um. Just. Saying.

Now Jacob is also being a tool. Damnit, Jacob. If Alice starts being a tool, I am going to metaphorically set this book on fire. I would do it actually, but I don't want to have to print it out just so I can burn it. That seems wasteful on every level.

Alice, thank you for pointing out that Edward is a tool. I still love you.

"I’ll be back so soon you won’t have time to miss me. Look after my heart — I’ve left it with you." I do not have words for how much this upsets me. It pisses me off, when normally it would just make me groan. I think it's because Bella and Edward are so desperately unhealthy, and neither of them (well, Edward does, but only in stupid ways) cares. Bella's marriage issues could be a way for her to examine the pros and cons of her relationship, but it isn't; she's not like "woah, if I don't want to marry Edward, maybe I should rethink the way I am deeply fucked up," but it's not. Her issues are with marriage, not with any aspect of her relationship, so it just feels like cheap, unexplained drama. Our explanation is that her mother married too young and regreted it, and (it seems at this point) Bella believes that if she does the same, things will magically fail, even if she's with Edward, the love of her life and her destiny. She has not really thought about this in any way. If she doesn't, I will punch her in the neck.

Also, this version of the book I have misses spaces between italicized words, so Jacob just said "sexcellent." I am more excited by this than I was by anything in the entirety of New Moon, with the exception of the fist-bumping.

I am glading we are taking the time to debate how human werewolves are. Let me make you a scale.

All clear now, Eclipse? I thought so.

Bella, you . . . I was going to say you're a tool, but I guess I just made that chart. So you should already know that.

I would like Jacob, I think, except that he's in love with Bella. Which is. You know. I don't get it. Such a huge part of these books is "everyone loves Bella!" and it's so inexplicable. She's not without her good qualities, but she's not all that. It just seems, well. Mary Sue-ish. And it doesn't serve any plot purpose to have anyone other than Jacob and Edward in love with her. Just those two would be fine; a pretty standard love triangle. But throw in all those other guys who are like hubba hubba! and it gets to be ridiculous, especially since none of them are really . . . there. Except to make Edward zomg jealous. Jacob, at least, causes interesting (and I mean that in the loosest sense) conflict. But the others are just kind of filler for "look how hot Bella is tee hee! And she doesn't even know it!"

Rosalie is not a complete tool. I'm kind of impressed she got character development.

I hate everyone and everything. Except Alice. Who manages to be self-centered and awesome while everyone else sucks.

Also, Bella. Jacob has a point. Turning into a vampire? NOT A GOOD LIFE CHOICE. Although I'm interested in his declaration that once she becomes a vampire, Bella will stop being his friend. There's been some debate of the souled nature of the vampire--Bella and Carlisle on the pro side, Edward on the con--but there's no indication that, as in Buffy, becoming a vampire allows something else (a demon) to take over. That is, the good vampires in the books are no different from the bad ones, except that they have chosen to be "vegetarians." So unlike in Buffy, there isn't the implication (I don't think) that vampires are any different from how they were when they were humans, in terms of personality, nature, etc. Except that I assume all the bad vampires weren't murderers or anything. So what does change? And why does Bella believe so strongly that she won't be changed in any significant way?

Well, because Bella is an idiot. Right. I just wish that the book would ask this kind of interesting question and get into that, even a little, instead of . . . basically everything else it does do.

Which brings me to a kind of general point. Dear writers of fantasy/supernatural stuff of all kinds: We know that "Hollywood got it wrong." It is no longer cute and funny to say this. Please stop.

Maybe everyone in this series has PMS all the time. That would explain a lot.

Also, I can't really tell if Jacob and Bella are joking with each other or having terrible fights any more. This is terrible.

I will say this: Edward being around makes the plot much easier to follow. Because Bella cares about the plot. As opposed to wanting to go off on tangents about how emo she is.

Well, she still does that. But less.

Also, I'm glad that the books have started acknowledging that Bella would like to, you know. Have sex. Because for a while, it seemed like she was happy just snuggling all the time. But Edward using the word "sexy"? I'm not buying it, Eclipse.

I preferred Ghost Cats to this.

SPIRIT WOLVES. I don't have anything to add to that. Except that Spirit Wolves vs. Ghost Cats: great crossover or greatest crossover?

Oh, I'm glad Edward has begun sympathizing with Heathcliff. I like when people I hate become friendly.

Okay, I normally think Bella is always stupid. But what's really stupid? Everyone constantly reassuring her that everything is fine, but being paranoid as fuck at the time same. Make up your minds, guys! Either Bella is in danger, and she has a point and her becoming a vampire sooner rather than later might be a good idea, or she isn't, and she doesn't need constant supervision. Trying to have it both ways is confusing for everyone.

"I'm not that girl, Edward. The one who gets married right out of high school like some small-town hick who got knocked up by her boyfriend! Do you know what people would think? Do you realize what century this is? People don't just get married at eighteen! Not smart people, not responsible, mature people! I wasn’t going to be that girl! That’s not who I am. . . ."

This is the worst explanation ever, Eclipse, and I hate you. Also, both of them are paranoid about the world's stupidest things. Just. So much anger.

Is it tragic backstory time! I think it is. Please note, this might change Jasper's placement on the TOOL--NOT A TOOL scale; he mostly just got points for dating Alice, since he didn't get a personality . . . UNTIL NOW.

So yeah, let's see how it goes.

Okay, I am okay with Jasper. Mostly because Alice likes him so much. I renounce my Alice/Jacob OTP. Although, honestly, I'm not really sure I feel strongly enough about any characters in these books to manage an OTP. It's more of an Eh, Whatever Pairing. Or an EWP.

Guys, do we always have to take this long to get to the plot? It's been half the book and you're only just figuring out a major threat that has been around since, like, page one. Couldn't we have less romantic confusion and more vampire antics? I'm begging you here. And I don't even like vampire antics. I'm just bored.

THEY ARE WORRIED THEY WORRY ALL THE TIME BUT ONLY ABOUT YOU BELLA. NO ONE ELSE IS EVER IN DANGER. I HATE EVERYONE. Even Alice a little bit right now. Sigh. You were doing so well, Alice.

HOLY SHIT NO RAPE JACOB

Seriously, I. Really don't like you anymore.

Oh my god, I hate everyone. CHARLIE. ARE YOU FUCKING CONGRATULATING HIM FOR KISSING YOUR DAUGHTER AND MAKING HER SO MAD SHE BROKE HER HAND PUNCHING HIM?????????

It's like the author is trying to make everyone who is not a vampire seem unappealing so that we won't feel like she's making a terrible choice leaving them all forever. Except that I don't think that's actually the goal, and I'm not sure we're supposed to think everyone here except Bella is being a dickhead.

I can't even describe how much it hurts me that Bella is being the most rational person in this situation.

I am disgusted and I hate the world. Normally I just kind of hate the world.

On the bright side, Bella is beginning to consider how she'll change once she becomes a vampire, which is nice. It would be even nicer if she really weighed the pros and cons of this decision like a rational person and found out more about what she's so interested in doing. But honestly, I'm not holding my fucking breath.

. . . seriously, it took you guys this long to figure out that the thing in Seattle and the thief in Bella's room were connected? I figured that out as soon as the thief came to Bella's room. Because this book can only handle, like, half a plot point. So everything has to tie together. I thought you just sort of. Knew that already.

I'm especially disappointed in you, Alice.

haet

argh argh argh argh

I do appreciate that Alice is willing to team up with the werewolves. And how chipper she is about it. Even if I'm still pretty pissed at Jacob.

Also, Bella's self-sacrifice thing. Just. Pisses me off, still. I want her to realize that she matters to other people.

Bella. If you mess up their plan trying to save them. I will do something that shows how pissed I am. I bet it will involve caps lock. You have been warned.

I hate Edward and Bella together so much.

Is there a point to adding shitloads of werewolf drama? I think not!

"So it's one way or the other. Either there is more danger than you want me to know about, in which case it would be right for me to be there, to do what I can to help. Or . . . it's going to be so easy that they'll get by without you. Which way is it?" THANK YOU FOR FINALLY GETTING THIS, BELLA. Holy shit. The ENTIRE BOOK is like that. "Oh! Bella is in danger! It's no big deal. BUT IT IS!" I'm so glad she noticed. God.

And now she's apologizing for it. Fuck. I hate everyone. Especially Edward and Bella together.

I fucking hate everyone in this fucking book.

Well, there's Alice. And Jasper. The minor characters, some of them? They're okay.

omgggg are they gonna have premarital sex? Please say yes! Please say yes!

"It's hard and cold. And it throws rainbows in the sunlight." This. This is the best one-line description of vampires (or diamonds that vampires give to their girlfriends because they relate to the diamonds. IN THE NIGHT) ever. Not for its accuracy to most vampires, but for its sheer ridiculousness. Also? "My heart is just as silent. And it, too, is yours." No, Eclipse. Just. No.

o-omg she's going to trick him into promising to have sex

yes

Her argument: When I am a vampire, I will want to drink people's blood more than I will want to bone you. Therefore, we should have sex now, while I'm good and horny. Your logic is awesome, Bella.

Man, I wish Edward would go online in the middle of this and find "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex." It would add so much to this scene.

Damnit! Edward, don't try to make this post-marital sex! I hate you!

ooh aah look how they reverse traditional gender roles because he wants to get married and she wants sex. you are so! edgy! Eclipse.

h-hahahaha this is ridiculous. I don't even know. This scene might save you, Eclipse.

Oh man, she's so upset that he's proposing all hardcore. On the bed. After she tried to force him to go all the way. Yes, Eclipse, yes. You are kicking New Moon's ass.

omg alice is going to top her into having a real wedding. yes.

Oh yeah, I also pretty much like Emmett. Emmett is amazing.

Jacob's pressing of Bella is annoying, but I like the way he's trying to point out that it's possible to care about more than one person at a time. I think he and Edward and her should have a hot three-way. Except it would not actually be hot at all. PS, I like how vampires are COLD AS ICE and werewolves are ON FIRE just in case we missed how amazingly opposite they are. Starting with Robert Frost also made that totally more clear.

Side note, since I've been saying MAN I CALLED THAT without putting any predictions down, I will say here and now that I am pretty confident the newborn vampires will ALSO be allied with werewolves somehow, which will explain why Alice isn't getting any visions and will also explain how there will be a real fight in there when everyone thinks that the Cullens are just going to massacre. The other side will have OTHER werewolves and everyone will be caught off guard. That's just my guess.

This is like the dumbest man heart-to-heart ever. Threesome seems more plausible right now. Jacob and Edward are bonding. It's really kind of gay.

No, seriously. This is really. Gay. They should be having tea while they have this talk. About who would be better for Bella.

"You know, Jacob, if it weren't for the fact that we're natural enemies and that you're also trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you."

Yeaaaaaaaaaah.

--Bella you're retarded. It is. Not your fault that Jacob wants your body. And is now really emo that you're marrying your steady boyfriend. He really could have seen that coming.

WUTHERING HEIGHTS NO

. . . are they having a self-pity contest? Or a jerk contest? Good news, Bella and Jacob, YOU BOTH WIN. YOU BOTH SUCK. Jacob, I'm more disappointed in you, honestly. I used to like you. When you were stupid in a fun way.

I hate this book so much.

orzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I understand that the author of this book is a Mormom. I therefore hope, but do not expect, that Bella will practice female polygamy and marry both Edward and Jacob. And they can all suck together.

I can't tell if I'm laughing or crying at this point. Whyyyyyyyyyy.

I hate this book. Also, I guess I'm wrong about the werewolves? Sadface.

When is Bella going to stab herself? I know that's coming. Damnit, I want stabbing and retarded self-sacrifice! If I didn't, I wouldn't be reading Eclipse. I would be doing something meaningful with my life.

Oh, there we go.

. . . HAHAHAHA "Bella, I just — I just beheaded and dismembered a sentient creature not twenty yards from you. That doesn't bother you?"

I. Kind of love how everyone thinks Bella is going to be terrified and/or disgusted and she just. Has completely different priorities.

But I still hate Bella. True story.

Also this book. I hate everyone.

So much.

"He was my soul mate in that world — would have been my soul mate still if his claim had not been overshadowed by something stronger, something so strong that it could not exist in a rational world." That's funny, I was just thinking THIS BOOK couldn't exist in a rational world.

Can people just. Stop telling Bella that they love her more than she loves them? It's. Auuuuuuuuugh.

God I hate this book.

MORE WUTHERING HEIGHTS

Everyone is an idiot! News at ten! OH WAIT THAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF NEWS. THAT HAS BEEN TRUE SINCE PAGE ONE OF TWILIGHT.

Okay, we're done.

I think Twilight was the best of the three for me. It wasn't great, but it didn't anger me that much. I didn't hate everyone, and I wasn't hoping someone would die while knowing that no one would. The plot sucked, and the characters sucked, but Bella had more of an excuse for being a jerk, and I was more forgiving of everyone for being a tool. It was also ridiculous, putting it more in the "bad" category than the "enraging" category. The difference between, for example, The Wastrel and Diamonds in the Night. The worst was definitely New Moon, because I was just pissed for most of the book. Eclipse I'm sort of torn on. I don't like the resolution of the love triangle, and I hate the way everyone acted about Jacob kissing Bella. And it seems as if because she really did love him and was just in denial, all is forgiven? Or something? And Bella's EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT only got more and more pronounced.

The story I might be interested in reading--Bella becoming a vampire, dealing with that, seeing her dream wasn't everything she thought it would be--is of course not included at all. Not that I trust Stephenie Meyer to necessarily do that story well, but I would be curious to see it, and to see how it worked. But we get none of that. It's not a story I care enough about to try to find fanfic of Bella's first years as a vampire or whatever, but I think that would have been much more interesting than the story that was actually written. If she did a sequel, I would be actually interested in picking it up, instead of reading it because I'm unemployed and don't know what to do with myself.

What I'm saying is this: I think there could be a good story in Twilight. But I don't think Stephenie Meyer told it.

I'm not saying that the Twilight series is without its good sides. I'm certainly not saying I don't understand why other people enjoy them. They're fine books for people who enjoy a certain kind of relationship dynamic, and that's great. It's definitely not the kind of relationship dynamic I like, especially over three books. I don't mind the getting together stages of that kind of relationship, but I had no real interest in seeing Edward and Bella together. You would think that would make New Moon better for me, since they weren't together very much during that one, but New Moon sucked balls because it was so boring. Among other things. Like wanting to throttle Bella.

I'm not sure who I'd reccommend these books to. Like I said, I understand why people like them. I think as a young teen, I might have found Edward and Bella more romantic and less disturbing, but even that, I'm not sure about. The writing's fine; nothing spectacular, but nothing awful. They have a few decent characters, and tons more fine ones. I think I'd be most likely to tell people not to bother, that they weren't missing anything.

I don't entirely approve of some of the messages, either, I guess. I never felt like the book itself acknowledged enough how unhealthy Edward and Bella were about each other, how fucked up that relationship was. I also was really rubbed the wrong way, as I mentioned, by Jacob kissing Bella the first time, and the general reaction to it--especially Charlie's. As sexual assaults go, it was pretty minor, but if anyone else had done that, Charlie would have been up in arms, I think. And it seemed out of character that he wasn't. And Bella's extreme reaction seemed to be something the book itself didn't agree with; it seemed as if the author was telling me she was overreacting.

That ties in to the overarching impression I got from all the books that anything goes as long as a guy loves you. Which . . . ehhhhhhhhhhhhh. I hate it, as a message. It happens both with Edward and with Jacob, in bigger and smaller ways, and it's not always there, but it is enough to make me feel uncomfortable and icky.

The thing is, I feel genuine affection for almost all the characters at some point. I don't loathe all of them. I feel connected to most of them, some of the time. Bella pisses me off partly because she's the protagonist, when I'd much rather see Alice or Jacob or even Edward doing it. Bur I sort of keep going "You could be better than this, Twilight!" and then I get pissed.

In conclusion: moar vampire fist-bumping. Less everything else in these books.

Except Alice. Alice, you're still cool.

chash @ 2008-06-14T15:16:00

2008-06-14T19:17:36Z

I don't have a bed anymore.

It's kind of scary.

I also won't have net in my apartment until I think the 25th. There might be leechable wireless, but if not, expect me to be scarce.

chash @ 2008-06-13T09:54:00

2008-06-13T14:42:39Z

All right, let's have some more info about this whole sudden moving thing, shall we?

So, weeks ago, my friend Chaos got a job in Boston. Boston is a popular place for Williams grads to go, and me and Becca were thinking we could go there too. Chaos's job started in June, though, which was earlier than I wanted to move and earlier than Becca could (she has a summer job, unlike me the slacker). So the plan at that point was that Chaos found herself a summer apartment and then we got an apartment for all three of us in September.

But then various things changed--another girl was interested in rooming with Chaos, her job's times skipped around, etc. Chaos ended up starting work in July, and asked if I'd want to get a place with her as early as then.

That actually made a lot of sense to me. I was going to AX on July 2 from Boston, which meant that I'd need to be in the city anyway. And since I had no summer job, there wasn't a lot of point in my sticking around the house when I could be looking for work in Boston. So I was on board with that, and Chaos and I went to look around at apartments on Tuesday, not planning to get anything.

The thing is, though, the reason we went in on Tuesday was that Chaos had to sign some papers for her job in the morning. And at that meeting, they told her they wanted her to start the next Monday.

This did not yet make us think "We need an apartment ASAP," but it made it an option. There were other choices, but if we saw a good apartment we could move into sooner, that would definitely be a plus.

So we met with the realtor at 2:30 and she showed us various places, the second of which was currently vacant, $2280 a month (on the lower end of what we'd expected to pay), and quite nice. This apartment also had the advantage that the people renting the apartment out would pay our realtor's fee (another $2280) and didn't require a security fee (probably another $2280). So with most of the apartments we'd been looking at, we would have had to pay the following:

-First and last month's rent (two months' rent)
-Realtor fee (one month's rent)
-Security deposit (one month's rent)
Total: Four months' rent up front

With this place, it would be:
-First and last month's rent (two months' rent)
-Key deposit ($50)
Total: Half as much!

As we went to other places, we also discovered we liked it best; the bedrooms were large and the common space was nice, it had big windows and was in a good location. But the girl we were renting with hadn't been able to come, and we were reluctant to get a place without her input. We tried calling her, but she was at work until five, and we wanted to move as quickly as possible--the apartment was a good deal, and it would go quickly. We finally got in touch with her, and she told us to go ahead. Which we did after some more discussion, and we put down a deposit, with the plan of coming back the next day with our third roommate to sign the lease and stuff.

(As a side note, Chaos and I drove home through THE APOCALYPSE. I'm not even kidding that much. There was a tornado warning in effect for Williamstown, but well before we got there, there was freaky lightning, fog, rain, hail, and some snatches of wind strong enough to move the car a little. We pulled over a couple times, but determined that we didn't have options other than powering home, which is what we did. But it was terrifying. I shudder just thinking about it.)

Chaos called me the next morning to tell me that we hadn't gotten the apartment. Someone else had faxed their stuff in earlier, and we were out. She and our other roommate were planning to head to the city to check out more apartments, but I declined because I was tired and Boston is three hours away. So I was hanging out here when Chaos called back and told me we did get the apartment.

The other people hadn't been able to put down money or something, so it was, in fact, ours. I spent much of that day kind of dazed and running around faxing things with my dad (our co-signer) and trying to figure out where I could get all this stuff I was going to need.

Yesterday, we signed all the deeds so Chaos could bring them back today, and we just heard that she's picked up the keys. We reserved a moving truck, and, yeah.

We're moving on Sunday.

I don't have a job yet; my plan is to sign up with temp agencies and look around once I get there. My parents are luckily willing to help me out until I get on my feet. But I'll hopefully find something relatively quickly.

Yeah.

chash @ 2008-06-12T10:20:00

2008-06-12T14:21:34Z

I'm moving to Boston on Sunday.

chash @ 2008-06-08T16:26:00

2008-06-08T20:27:14Z

r-repost for great wtf happened with that poll orz

Okay, so. I finished FF9. And now I have, like...plotbunnies. For a. Retarded multi-part future fic about Zidane and Garnet's son and his adventures trying to be a real man and win Eiko's love.

Yeah, I don't even fucking know.

The thing is, I want this to be a multi-part fic that I a) actually write and b) actually finish, so I was thinking of setting up a special filter for it. So that people on my flist who aren't interested in reading this won't have to see it.

Therefore! If you're reading this and think that sounds kind of interesting, check out this short excerpt (which I just wrote, might change, might update, etc.) and see if you're still interested.

A coronation, Alexander realized, always brought people together.

For his parents, Eiko's Coronation meant an opportunity to reunite with their friends from their battle twenty years ago, to drink and reminisce and talk of Uncle Cid, to remember how he had helped them.

Alex was interested in the stories of his parents' lives, but now he found them cloying and a little depressing. Eiko, at age six had helped save the world. Puck had run away from home and gone off own his own before he'd even reached puberty. The one time Alex had tried to get away from the castle, Aunt Beatrix had found him before he made it past the moat.

Granted, he had been eight and trying to swim, but it still stung, ten years later. How was he supposed to prove himself if he never got to do anything?

The answer had come to him when the date was set for Eiko's Coronation--he could kill two birds with one stone. After all, what better opportunity could there be to slip away then when he was in Lindblum, while everyone would be busy with the reunion? The city would be filled with people he could lose himself among. He could be out the Dragon's Gate before they realized he was gone, and by the time they had, he'd be on his way to the South Gate.

It was the perfect plan.

He had been allowed to go shopping in town alone, his father overruling Steiner's protestations with a wave of his hands. Alex knew now wasn't the time to bolt; Steiner was on-alert, and any deviation from his schedule would immediately raise the alarm.

It was the time to get himself provisions--he'd heard the stories of his parents' adventures enough to know he'd need potions, tents, a sword--the kinds of things a prince wasn't supposed to deal with. But he wasn't going to be a prince out there. He was going to be Rail, just another boy from the country looking for work in Treno.

And maybe then, Eiko would figure out he wasn't just some stupid kid.

If you're still interested, fill out this poll! Anyone who is not interested just...doesn't do anything. Because I didn't want to have to sort through who answered yes and who said no. I'm lazy like that. If there's no interest here, I'll put it on ff.net or something. Because ff.net is my homeboy. Or perhaps even my hobomboy.

View Poll: Fanfic y/n

chash @ 2008-06-05T16:21:00

2008-06-05T20:22:09Z

I was going to do a fancy AX poll like inupr0n, but then I realized I wanted your numbers even if you weren't going to AX. So. If you're going to AX, just comment and tell me!

View Poll: phone numbersss

chash @ 2008-06-05T00:05:00

2008-06-05T04:13:03Z

I think I'll do a life update now, to balance out the post on FF9 that's going to come as soon as I finish my replay.

So, life. Graduation was Saturday; sadly, it wasn't that interesting. Our speaker was Richard Serra, who is kind of a big deal in the sculpture world. He was good, but I admit that he didn't really grab me that much. He had one good line ("if it ain't broke, break it"), and an interesting format, but I don't remember it very well, and he just overall happened. LeVar Burton had been, as I mentioned, scheduled to be our Baccalaureate speaker, but he canceled a month or two ago, and we got Bob Lipp, some kind of banker, instead. So I skipped that.

The family was in town for graduation and left Monday, but we went up to see creepy sculptures in Bennington before we went. My cousin Paris and I also checked out the Penny Arcade game (On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness Episode One) and had fun with that; I've bought it to be played at a later date when I am not playing FF9. It was fun to have them, and I need to send thank-you cards.

The house is still busy, though--my friend Adam has a summer job, but no housing until the 9th, so he's been staying here. He's gone most of the day, but returns at night to hang out and listen to my mom dramatically read Harry Potter aloud and slur words in ways which makes it sound much dirtier. As one does. Henry's here tonight as well, but he went to the Herring to hang out with people I don't know, and I chose to stay here and watch Men In Black, because I'm kind of tired and kind of a loser. Also, because the Herring is a terrible, terrible place, and I actually kind of hate it a lot.

My plans for the week are more of the same. I'll probably try to hang out with Ben and/or Chaos sometime soon, but mostly I'm sleeping and relaxing before I start the job search. Because I love both sleep and relaxing.

chash @ 2008-06-04T10:13:00

2008-06-04T14:14:39Z

I have seen objections to Bella's clumsiness in Twilight being too extreme and unrealistic. Like getting injured going through a door.

I just thought I'd share that I just injured myself sitting down on a futon.

That's right.

chash @ 2008-06-04T00:18:00

2008-06-04T04:37:28Z

I was going to do a post about how much Quina in FF9 annoys me.

But it wasn't really that interesting.

Instead, everyone should tell me where to get Freya/Amarant fic. Because that pairing fucking rocks.

chash @ 2008-06-01T21:55:00

2008-06-02T01:56:27Z

Thanks to everyone for the congratulations on the last post.

now i r college graduate

chash @ 2008-06-01T02:18:00

2008-06-01T06:19:24Z

So I guess I'm graduating in eight hours.

chash @ 2008-05-29T12:37:00

2008-05-29T18:28:23Z

Trivia fact: Cargo shorts become see-through when they become wet enough.

So, the first concern was that, for some reason, I hadn't yet gotten my senior week ticket ($190, wtf, charged to my term bill weeks ago, OR SO I THOUGHT) and I thought I might not get to go. I was sad about this, because yay amusement park I was v. excited. So I got up at 7:45 so I could go to brunch and then hit the Campus Life office as soon as they opened.

First thing that went wrong: my eye was angry with its contact, so I finally took that one out, went sapgjsatg and found a new one. My eye still kind of hurt, but not as much, so I figured it was fine. I didn't want to wear glasses to the amusement park.

So I went to Campus Life, and they told me they had no record of my paying. And I was like Fine, whatever, I did, but I'll just get my dad to write me a check. But they told me they'd find my form. Which they couldn't do for like half an hour. So I called my dad anyway, so I could get a check and rip it up if need be. Finally, after not talking to me for a while, they came out and just gave me a ticket, apologized, and left. I'm not even sure I paid for it. Whatever.

The buses were supposedly leaving from the student center, where everyone was, but for some reason a few of them drove up and then, as soon as we'd gathered, they drove on down to freshman housing. Because Williams hates us. True story.

So the buses left about half an hour late, and we got to the park at 11:30 or so. It was supposed to rain, so not that many people were there, which was nice. I hadn't realized that Six Flags had all the DC rides, so that was also exciting. Our first ride of the day was Superman: Ride of Steel, which was terrifying because it was the first ride and it was fucking Superman: Ride of Steel. I had fun, but I was shaking for a while. I was also pretty psyched that they had Superboy up on their wall of Superman people. Anyway. We got some food, played a round of whack-a-mole (I fucking love whack-a-mole, don't judge), and got from that a truly hideous and terrifying Superman plushie. I think it's stuffed with newspaper, or something. No part of it is okay.

Our next ride was what we thought was whitewater rafting (it was so hot), but which turned out to be basically them dragging us up in a raft and then going down a very twisty slide. It was not very exciting. But from there we spied Becca and Chaos's beloved swing ride (the Gotham City Crime Wave, for no reason I could figure out) and went on that. Becca and Chaos then decided they wanted to go on the Mind Eraser, which I did not, so I hung out while they went.

Except! That just as they were getting strapped in, the PA came on and said that everything was closed due to coming weather. It had gotten noticeably darker, and we fled to the stores to protect ourselves from the sudden, violent downpour. The rain cleared up, eventually rides started going again, Becca and Chaos hurt their ears on the Mind Eraser, and we decided to head to one of the rides that got you wet. In this case, the log ride where you go down a slide into a giant splash area, basically. So we rode that once, got really wet, and since there wasn't a huge line, rode it again. And were pretty soaked.

Then we saw the skyline! Which was big metal cages that went slowly across the sky. And that looked kind of fun, so we decided to go on. It started raining again just as we boarded--big, wet drops. So that got us a little wetter, and then we were across the park, far from the protective stores, and the roads were flooding.

So we said screw it and ran around in the rain. We tried to go on a roller coaster, but it shut down just as we were about to get on. The roads were so full of water by this point that at one time we were in up to our ankles. It was kind of gross but also kind of fun. At this point, I realized that my shorts were totally see through and my wicked hot polka-dot underwear were out there for the world to see. So I decided what I'd do would be get a pair of shorts or a little dress at one of the stores, and change into that and my bikini (which I had in my bag in case we wanted to hit the water park) for the ride home, so I wouldn't freeze. I was checking out the dresses when, horribly, the place that actually sold dresses had to close.

Due to flooding.

True story.

Anyway, I went to the Looney Tunes store, which was not flooding, and bought a pair of pink sweatpant capris that had a really girly Superman symbol on the thigh. They were seriously super duper hot.

We weren't scheduled to leave for another hour or so, but since the park was flooding, we decided to pick up our stuff from the lockers and head back to the bus. I was sort of hoping the bus wouldn't be that crowded when we got there, since it was early to leave, but of course it was. So after Becca changed into her real clothes in the bus bathroom, I went back there and changed into a bikini top and pink Superman capris. And walked all the way back to the front of the bus. It was the best walk of shame ever.

Actually, about halfway through, I passed a friend of mine who had an extra sweater, which he very kindly loaned me. So I was way warmer and both more and less awkward than I would have been. In any case, it was really hot. And Becca's hair somehow managed to drip in the most awkward way ever onto her bathing suit and down onto one boob. I don't even know how this works. It was pretty much mystifying.

Also, my eye started really, really hurting on the bus, and I realized with a sinking feeling that I had probably failed to take out the contact that had been bothering me. Low and behold, I got home, pulled out one contact, and a gross, bent, weird other contact also came out. Luckily, my eye's fine now, although it hurt for the rest of that day. But man. What the hell.

So yeah, that was Six Flags. My body hurt a lot afterward. We spent that evening watching The Bachelorette with Bevin and her cohorts, which was very special.

The Mount Hope dance is kind of like prom, only in college and they serve alcohol. And it wasn't really as big a deal, at least for me. Like, prom is one of those things you're supposed to be really in to and that's supposed to be really important. The Mount Hope dance is mostly getting drunk and making poor decisions.

The day started off with a trip to Crossgates mall to see if we could get Becca a dress, which we did. We also got some underwear and I got a really cheap weird strapless bra that was deeply classy. Crossgates is a good hour plus away, so we got back with not a whole lot of time before the class photo and departure for Mount Hope. There was getting ready, during which I stressed a little about my dress being not formal enough, and we all realized that it was cold and the dance was outside. So I brought my hoodie, which did not go at all with my dress, and Becca brought her fleece, and we continued to be classy.

The photo took forever to get started, and then they didn't tell us they were taking it. Some guys just started singing "The Star-Spangled Banner" for no real reason I could figure out, and while everyone was confused and laughing at this, they took the pictures. Then we got on school buses and headed off to Mount Hope.

Mount Hope is some grounds that the college owns with a big stately home on it. Due to some sort of code violations, they can't really use it for anything, and we weren't allowed inside because a few years back when the seniors WERE allowed in, someone walked through a plate glass door.

Because the point of the Mount Hope dance is to get wasted. This year, they had us on a six-drink limit, which some people were pretty upset about. But some of us managed to get plenty wasted on six drinks, so those people are whiners who didn't try hard enough. Plus, all the drinks they did serve were super strong.

For the first part of the evening, invited faculty come and mingle with the students. Most of my friends (myself included) hadn't even known how to invite faculty, but a lot of profs of mine showed up anyway, so it worked out. My parents also showed up, so I hung out with them and Professor Bolton and my fiction prof and various people whom I'd known since birth. And, of course, my friends.

Most amazing thing ever: I was awkwardly getting a drink while Professor Bolton was getting a Coke, and he said: "You know, I actually got carded last weekend when I was buying God of War 2 at the mall."

Professor Bolton is my hero.

The profs left at dinner, so we could get to seriously drinking with our peers. Dinner itself was decent but unremarkable, and we just sort of hung out. Somehow Chaos was really already pretty gone by the time dinner was over, even though she'd only used two of her drink tickets. Becca and I decided we should catch up, so we did.

The rest of the evening is various blurs of dancing, hanging out with people, leaning on people kind of a lot (I believe I spent about twenty minutes with pendrecarc with the two of us just leaning on each other and giggling), and talking to whoever was in line for the bathroom. Me, Becca, Chaos, and Ben spent a while in a circle with our arms around each other singing loudly into each other's faces. At the end of the night, Becca and I fought each other and Chaos jumped out of the back of the bus and landed flat on her face. Luckily, she only hurt her knee.

Then I came home and immediately went to sleep, even though it was pretty early. My favorite things to do when drunk are wander away from everyone I know without telling them and sleep. I'm sure this won't be a problem later in life.

We have Cigars Under the Stars tonight, which sounds vastly unappealing. But my grandmothers and cousin are also coming in, so I'll probably hang out with them some. And be sober. It will be exciting and novel.

School stuff

2008-05-26T21:31:37Z

First off, grades. My last ever Williams grades! Ooh aah scary etc.

19th Century British Novel: B
Advanced Fiction Workshop: B+
Japanese translation independent study: A
Mythology in Music: A

No real surprises here--well, no negative ones. I figured my independent study and myth in music would be A-range, but I figured at least one would be an A-. So that's cool. And the other two I sort of predicted, and am good with. The B+ I'm actually quite happy with, because he's a tough grader. So it's about the best I reasonably expected.

In less good news, I haven't yet gotten my senior week ticket despite paying for it weeks ago. But I think I can stop by the Campus Life office tomorrow morning before the first senior week trip (Six Flags woo!) and get it sorted out. If I can't, I'll be pissed, because Six Flags is the one I'm most excited for. Anyway, we'll see. And then...graduation on Sunday. Yeaaaaaah.